I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Even my vagina gasped.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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