It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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