If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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