He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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