Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I supernannyed him into submission
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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