Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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