If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I could fuck to npr.
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