All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
