Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize