Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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