How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
