Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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