WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
