remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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