Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?

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(740): View more from Ohio

I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.

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(305): View more from Florida

My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?

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(206): View more from Washington

There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.

(1-206): View more from Washington

First world problems.

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(716): View more from New York

YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA

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(334): View more from Alabama

I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs

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