The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
