Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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