Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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