i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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