i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize