i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
