I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
