I swear she didn't look like that last week.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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