nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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