If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
