You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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