Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
