You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
