Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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