That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
