guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This is the high leading the old right now
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
