am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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