i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
be right there i have to get my cape
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
