I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I would fuck him just for his dog
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
