i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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