what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
