We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
