If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
