it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize