So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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