I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
