we're blogging at a bar
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize