saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
