may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Even my vagina gasped.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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