Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
