1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
