Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
