There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize