The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
