I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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