My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
