so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
