took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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