THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You pole danced in your parka.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
