Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
if only i could text you this smell
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He did a backflip because drugs
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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