please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
