are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I need help removing her.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
