just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
