I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
