all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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