We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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