Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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