stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
