Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
