his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
