I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize