She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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