Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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